Teach Love. Not Hate.

I often hear about divorce situations where children have become estranged from one of their parents.  Sadly in many of these instances one parent has worked hard to influence their child(ren)s viewpoint in an effort to punish their ex-spouse.  Why do so many people do this?   Why do people think that encouraging your children to hate or dislike one of their parents is a good idea?  

It is certainly natural for anyone going through a divorce to experience anger.  Divorce is the death of a marriage and anger is widely known as one of the five stages in processing death.  But, why should we encourage our children to feel anger and malice toward someone who is supposed to be one of the core figures in their life?  Isn’t it better for our kids to grow up feeling the love of two parents rather than learning how to hate one? It takes so much more energy to be angry and to hate than it does to love.  Sadly, this is a common tactic used by narcissists to maintain control of a situation that they are no longer involved in.  People obsessed with the idea of punishing their ex-spouse cannot see that it is their children who actually suffer the most.  The children lose out on family, love, kindness and often have trust and depression issues well into their adult years.  Why should children pay the price for their parents’ emotions?   The simple answer is that they shouldn’t.  Teach Love.  Not Hate.